I don’t deserve to be here…
It must have been a mistake…
I don’t belong…
I’m going to be found out…
Have you ever found yourself in a meeting, on a call, or in a room where you have said this to yourself?
Maybe you are a course junkie, feeling like you lack the knowledge, and are therefore constantly looking the solution that will solve the problem you currently facing.
Perhaps you have the knowledge but are still struggling to take action despite all the knowledge you have.
Maybe you deflect the compliments and kind words that are being given by discounting your talents and attributing it to the something else outside of your control.
Perhaps you block the success of others by saying, “That’s easy for them to say. My situation is different.”
I hear you, I see you. You are not alone.
For 2 years, while working at Funneldash, I supported hundreds of entrepreneurs looking to become Facebook Ad Agencies. For those who aren’t familiar with Funneldash, it is a software-as-a-service company that helps Facebook Ad Agencies create custom Facebook Ad Reports and Facebook Messenger Lead Generation Funnels.
Despite providing the necessary knowledge and weekly support calls, there were still some who struggle to take action they need in order to get the clarity they desire. I could see the solution clearly and it’s was right there… just past the fear and self-doubt and right on the other side of taking action. I know this to be true because I’ve been there and I’ve coached enough entrepreneurs through to the other side.
This isn’t just an issue for entrepreneurs… I’ve struggled with this all through my corporate career. I was frequently one of the only female in my department. In fact, I’ve found that most women who desire to live authentically are also coping with some sort of anxiety which is preventing them from moving forward.
“Your business is a direct reflection of who you are being.”
– James Wedmore
Fear is the saboteur that is holding you back from being happy and successful. Fear can be a good thing as it is deeply connected with our need to survive. But if you give fear too much control it has the power to haunt you. It will sabotage your self-esteem and self-confidence. It will stop you dead in your tracks, feeling stuck and unable to move.
When fear has a strong grip it shows up as waiting, doubting, holding back, staying silent, feeling insecure, avoiding, worry, anxiety, overthinking. You start to feel like an impostor or fraud. In other words you are suffering from Impostor Syndrome.
Now to be clear you are not actually a “fraud” or “impostor” as you are not intending to deliberately deceive others but rather you suffer from a persistent inability to believe that your success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved by you own efforts or skills.
Impostor Syndrome is a Serious Issue and as a Society,
We Need to Get a Handle On It!
Don’t believe me? Do a quick google search you can see that there are countless of articles written about this topic.
There are a ton podcasts and videos from well known online influencers dedicated to topics specific to the problems that Impostor Syndrome causes as well.
These are just a few that I’ve listened to.
It’s a big deal and so many high achievers struggle with Impostor Syndrome as well. It’s more common than you think. Even Michelle Obama said “I still have a little [bit of] impostor syndrome, it never goes away”.
If you have read this far, I would be willing to bet your inner impostor is starting to kick in right about now and say something like this, “That’s great but I’m not them. I haven’t achieved the level of success they have. I’m just one person trying to run a business and find my way in the world.”
Don’t Let Your Inner Impostor Fool You.
Let me tell you, I’ve been there. I’ve experienced it myself. To this day, these thoughts can creep up when I least expect it.
I know I can help… but who?
I don’t deserve that compliment. It was just luck, or good timing
How can I stand out in the crowd of people offering a similar service? I am offering the same thing!
Why would anyone choose to hire me?
Why on earth do I think I can do this?
I struggle to make decisions and take action in order to move forward. Of course very few people know about it as I typically try to keep it as my little secret. But when you keep it a secret, that’s how impostor syndrome can get such a good grip on you.
It is most prevalent when the desire to make a change is strong and an opportunity has presented itself. I can speak from personal experience that the stress, anxiety and over all struggles that fear, self-doubt, and self-sabotage bring are real!
Feelings of being an impostor are normal. We are human… It’s how you handle these feelings of being an impostor and the challenges it can bring, that matters. It’s about being conscious of when you are short-changing yourself and the actions you choose to take in order to disrupt that pattern.
Choosing to do something despite the fear and self doubt.
Remembering why you choose to be an entrepreneur in the first place.
Focusing on who you are helping and serving and lead from your heart.
“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. Because you will always find it. “
– Brené Brown
You are consistently challenging yourself in order to following your dreams. Living authentically provides you the opportunity to be in control of your future and being an entrepreneur provides you the freedom to work when and where you want. But you can only have this if you are able to control and tame your inner impostor.
The longer you hide behind the fear and feelings of being “found out”, the greater the pain you will suffer and the more you will feel like you’re being weight down. So, you must make a decision and choose to do something about it.
When I feel stuck there are a handful of techniques I use to kick the reset button and realign myself with my vision, mission, and overall goals. One of them is to reflect and take inventory of where I am at mentally, emotional, as well as the actions I am taking and the people I am surrounding myself with. The key is to recognize when your head, heart, emotions, and action are out of alignment.
Every time I feel stuck, I need to pick myself back up again in order to move forward I find that it is important to get my thoughts flowing in the right direction and start believing what is possible again instead of focusing on what isn’t.
Here is a Short, 3-Step Exercise to Help You Start Moving Forward When You Feel Stuck
What have you unknowingly or knowingly decided you cannot do?
Is there something you are afraid of?
Acknowledge your fear and negative emotions! Write them down.
Imagine the what it would be like if you were to crush it?
Flip the script!
Seriously! Write it down.
Challenge the negative statement and then replace the negative by flipping the script and restating it in a positive way. Write down the same basic statement only in the positive form.
Read the what you just wrote aloud and start taking action! Start showing up how you need to in order to create the business you want!
“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you. Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it?”
– Caroline Myss
When you live authentically, you are giving yourself a little bit of self-love every day by challenging yourself, following your dreams, and not stuffing yourself into an ill-fitting box someone else put you in.
Many believe that the right tools, the right information, and a little bit of luck… your life and or business with change. But I challenge that idea and say that there is one key ingredient missing… YOU!
What is it that makes YOU different?
What is YOUR unique value proposition?
What specifically do YOU offer to others?
If people aren’t clear about who you are and what you offer, it could cost you your ideal job or your ideal clients (who don’t even know that you CAN help them) and even income (when your ideal client or employer chooses to work with someone else!)
Stop letting your inner imposter stand in the way of moving forward. Join Empower YOU: Your 5-day Confidence Jumpstart Challenge.
This challenge is designed especially for those who are following their heart in order to make a significant impact on someone else life.
Come join me for Empower YOU: Your 5-day Confidence Jumpstart Challenge, where we will squash self-doubt and boost your self-confidence in order to find the confident voice and the hero within.